Miss Perfect

Growing up, my mom taught me one fact about girls that I have never forgotten: All girls are beautiful. It was one wonderful thing to believe but whenever I go out of the house, I learn that the world thinks otherwise.

When I was in high school, I envied people in magazines and TV ads. There was even a time when I pulled all stray hair so that my hair would look like the ones on TV. I thought it was alright until I found out that I had a big bald part on my scalp. My mom had to talk to me and tell me that I should love how I look like. That was unimaginable for me. More years passed, then I learned that not only should you be beautiful but you should also be smart. Smart? I can’t even pass some subjects but I am not lazy. I do my best but I just wasn’t enough. Then I learned that beauty is also in the titles. Titles, like Ms. [insert school’s name here] or Champion of [insert Singing Contest here]. Somehow, you should have all these to be called beautiful. I struggled with how I look like, how smart I am and how talented I am… for a very long time. When I got accepted in UP, things got even worse. I started comparing myself to my seatmate or the pretty girl in the next class. I felt like an ugly wallflower. I remember thinking that I’ve always dreamed of being a princess but how can I be a princess if I look like this? How will someone ever love me if I’m not this or that?

I knew that at that moment God was sighing and saying, ‘If only you know how beautiful you are to me.’ I went to church and was astounded when they said how God saw me beautiful despite of my looks and my flaws. I thought, “Nah, that can’t be true! That’s easy for you to say because you’re already beautiful!” Deep in my heart, I want to believe it’s true. I wanted a life that I do not need to perform to be approved of, a life where I am loved for who I am. My family loves me like so but I seek some adoration from out side our circle. I prayed to God and I realized I already knew the answer but just did not accept it as truth.

God loves me. God sees me as beautiful. It’s written all over the Bible. All I had to do is believe. My mind battles the truth and I asked, ‘How can You love me when I’m not perfect?’ And then I realized, ‘Who told me I’m perfect?’ I laughed when I realized that I was forcing myself to be perfect because of what the world dictates. The question is: Am I happy when I try to please the world? When I try to be what the world wants me to be? Truth is, no. The good thing in all this, though, is that I learned that I didn’t have to be perfect to be loved by God. I didn’t have to be beautiful to be loved by a man. Wow! I was free.

When I learned this and let God take the wheel of my life, He transformed me to a girl with low self-esteem to a confident woman of God. I didn’t even have to look for the man who’ll love me, God wrote my love story and made my dream come true – He made me a princess. Wow. All I had to do was believe in the Perfect God and everything followed. So dear, just believe and say goodbye to Miss Perfect!