I’m a mom of two lovely girls. My husband and I fondly call them princesses. We are not a bit royal but we pray to raise them with security in who they are and what they are worth. I first encountered the term God’s princess in our youth ministry when I was in college. My small group leader then said that if God were the King and we are adopted in His family, we are princesses. I’ve always been fond of princess stories. I have not seen them as weak but strong in their own special feminine way. Some though do not share the same view of the word. I remember a famous blogger who said that princesses are weak and are the last ones you need in relationships.
John Croyle paints a different picture of a Princess. He begins with the end in mind: a Proverbs 31 woman who will one day be someone’s queen. He raised hundreds of them in Big Oak Ranch for Girls and raised his own daughter as one. His book is organized around eight virtues parents can build in their daughter.My husband and I study this book together and we are inspired to raise our girls by the grace of God. This strengthened what we pray we can do for our girls while they are in our nest. His book is full of stories, practical tips and suggestions for parents and caregivers of girls. I’ll share with you a few of the many wonderful points Croyle made in this must-read book for parents of girls.
- A Princess is Not a Wimp
Contrary to popular belief, princesses are no wimps. Little girls are capable of so many things if only someone will believe in them. A Proverbs 31 woman doesn’t appear out of nowhere. She was trained and prepared by her parents. She was no wimp. She was trusted and empowered. “[Princesses] have empowerment that comes solely from knowing that God is going to get them through whatever obstacles come their way.”
“Steer your daughter away from false modes of power.”
He admonishes parents to teach our girls the big difference between Insecure Arrogance and Humble Confidence. In today’s world, there are mean girls, not just in school but everywhere that wifi is available. They use power from position and status. Insecure Arrogance comes in many forms. Our goal is to empower our girls to have the character and sense to know what’s right and wrong, believe in themselves and stand up for what they know is right.
- A Princess is Not a Primadonna
She is not a Primadonna, she is Praiseworthy. Every girl wants to be beautiful. For the good, the bad and the ugly, this needs to affirmed by the people she values. A girl’s worth can be undermined by her thoughts about her beauty.
Croyle shared a story of his daughter Reagan during her modeling career in Milan under Elite Modeling Agency. She was asked to wear a see-through cellophane dress for the show. She refused. The stylist sputtered and swore she wouldn’t have another modeling gig. He was wrong. The next day, Reagan got a better and higher-paying modeling job. Our goal as parents should not to raise a primadonna or an it-girl, our goal should be to raise them as women who is secure in who they are. Reagan did not need a modeling gig to affirm her beauty or her future. She was secure that she is beautiful and that God had a better plan for her.
“A woman who knows she’s praiseworthy has no fear.”
Our kids live in a world that worth and value is quantifiable with likes and favorites. Through affirmation of who they are, their worth and what God has equipped her to do, we are doing our part in raising a praiseworthy princess.
- A Princess is Not a Martyr
Martyrs should be honored for their sacrifice and faith. However, ‘martyrs’ nowadays give the real martyrs a bad name. This is a popular description of female leads in princess tales. They are real-life doormats who let other people mistreat them and take advantage of them. Croyle encourages parents to teach our girls the difference between False Martyrdom and Servant-heartedness. A false martyr wants her deeds to be seen, whether online or whoever she wants to see her but a true servant knows that God sees her deeds. Her motivation is not recognition but genuine authentic service.
“She is not just serving others. She’s building the kingdom of God.”
Parents should teach girls of this generation the value of serving and steer them away from the lures of self-centeredness. Give them a vision of their part in the Kingdom of the King and let them experience the true joy of a servant’s heart.
“Raising a princess isn’t rocket science. It’s mostly a matter of paying attention, being intentional, not missing opportunities to teach and affirm,” writes Croyle. “If God has given you a daughter, he has called you to give her the virtues of a princess.”
God has entrusted two little girls in our care. God knows my husband and I pray everyday that we will steer them to the path God wants them to go. And be godly examples along the way. This is a joy and a challenge to us as we raise princesses. To you who have also been entrusted with a princess, let us not forget the we have the King by our side we can rely on on this journey of raising a princess.