Every Woman’s Dangerous Tendencies

I realized in my twenty-plus years of existence in this world that women need approval on our beauty. Captivating by John and Stasi Eldredge said that every woman is haunted by a Question – “Am I lovely?” Don’t get me wrong, it’s so natural to ask this Question and to need approval.

If it’s natural, what, then, is the dangerous tendency I’m talking about? Here they are:

Tendency #1: Women going to much extent only to get approval.

Different women have different ways to get approval – work, men, babies, money, name it. It’s wonderful to excel in our endeavors and to be loved but most of the time, our approval in these areas are dependent on our performance. It can be dead tiring most of the time. And to some, getting approval means letting go of purity or agreeing to the wrong. It means compromising what you know is real and true just to get a momentary approval.

I realized God doesn’t look at us that way. Some people have this notion that you have to be perfect to approach God but the truth is, it’s the opposite.

He loves it when we come to Him as we are, honest and childlike, no pretensions. He sees you with or without makeup, He simply sighs and says, “You’re lovely.”
Whenever the Question is asked, His answer to each woman is YES!

“Hear, O daughter, and consider, and incline your ear:
Forget your people and your father’s house,
and the king is enthralled by your beauty.”
Psalm 45: 10-11

It’s your choice. Will you listen to the jeers of your friends and family members about how you look? Will you depend on the looks dictated by today’s culture?
Or will you listen to your King who is simply enthralled by you. See, the verse says, hear this and consider this. It’s your choice who to listen to.

Tendency #2: Women’s tendency to compare herself to other women.

I had a revelation on the much-quoted verse Hebrews 12:1:

“Let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles.
And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us,
fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith.”

The problem, I believe, is not that women run life with much gusto. The problem is that women do not run the race marked out specifically for us.

Imagine wearing a lightweight jersey for a marathon. The gun fires. You start running in the lane where you were place but instead of focusing on finishing the race, you looked at you co-runners and compared yourself then complained to God about how much they have or how good they look. You then trip because you’re not focused, much worse, you went to the wrong lane and failed to finish the race well.


We need to focus on the race that God has marked out for us, pursuing the amazing destiny we have in Him with our own set of wonderful abilities, with our own unique personality and with our own brand of beauty. We should not look at how the others are doing in their own races. Focus. Fix your eyes on Jesus.

Maybe as long as we are on earth, there’s a battle waging in our minds about whether we’re lovely or not, but we always have a choice what to listen to and what’s going to define us as a woman.

2 thoughts on “Every Woman’s Dangerous Tendencies”

    1. I think so too. As long as she believes that she is loved, she won’t seek approval, but will just receive love and be secure with who she is 🙂


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