No Expectations

Life is not made-to-order… that was the opening line of No Reservations, a film, in case you don’t know ^^. Well, it struck me. Life is not made… you make it. But in that sense, I wouldn’t want to make it myself. I want God to make it. The decision of giving Him the pen of my life was a difficult thing for me before.

See, I’m a planner. I plan everything from start to finish. The moment I wake up until I close my eyes for slumber. I have lists of things-to-do, when to do it, how to go about it, with whom to do it (optional ^^) and where to do it. I got everything planned. And then God came. Although I have known of Him since I was kid in my Psalty songs and Flying House episodes, He came… like a stranger in the night. He revealed Himself as another person. My Lord. And with that, all plans vanished. I wanted His plan for my life.

When we do the writing, it’s not perfect, mishaps come from all corners of the galaxy and everything is just not right. And then we loathe in frustrations, disappointments, and many other things we do not want to experience at all. In this season of my life, God revealed to me great and wondrous things I am set out to do. At first I was hesitant and told Him, “Are You sure it’s me?” He said, “Yes, I am.” I threw questions to God about everything that He told me, the list of questions could rival Schinindler’s List in length and then I rested my case and submitted to His plan. When I said, “I can’t, Lord…” He said, “I can.”

That’s what I thought I did until I turned to the planner once more. I did every research I could and planned everything from start to finish. And I could almost see Him shake His head. “Let Me do the planning,” He told me. He distanced me from my list and fixed my eyes on Him. In the span of eighteen years and seven months that I lived in this planet, I was filled with expectations – in myself, in the world, in other people… and I end up getting disappointed, frustrated… the reason for all that is because I wasn’t fixing my eyes on the One who cannot break any holy expectations. He is perfect.

No planning… no rehearsing… no expectations… these are the stickers on my mind. God replaced all that… Let Me do the planning… enjoy this act… hope…, respectively. Don’t get me wrong, planning is important. God wants us to set goals and achieve them but see to it that He is always IN the picture, that He is doing the writing and that He is in control. Don’t put Him out of the picture or try to lead life on your own… He alone can write the PERFECT life story and He alone can make each one of us truly live. He will write each of us a story beyond our wildest imagination. Good. Pleasing. Perfect. Give him the pen. Let Him do the planning. He will never bring you down.

There’s something cool that I have done in response to this call from God. I took a blank sheet of paper and signed my name at the bottom and prayed, “Lord, this blank sheet represents my life. I want you to write on it whatever seems pleasing to You, my Lord. I agree to whatever you have in mind for me for I know that everything will work out for my good. May You be pleased with Your servant. Write my life story. Make it shout of Your everlasting love and goodness. Thank You in advance for a great story. I’m looking forward to our journey together.” Use your own words. He will listen to You.

Let Him do the planning.

Nov 4, ’07 10:30 PM

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